Worried someone you love may be getting scammed? Start with a conversation, not an accusation.
Scams can be hard to recognize from the inside—especially when fear, trust, loneliness, urgency, or embarrassment are involved. The people who fall for them aren’t careless. They’re often kind, trusting, and trying to help someone.
You do not have to prove it is a scam before you speak up.
Sometimes helping someone starts with one calm sentence:
“Something about this feels off. Can we check it together?”
Signs It May Be Time to Step In
You may want to gently ask questions if your loved one:
• Is suddenly secretive about phone calls, messages, or money
• Is sending money, buying gift cards, or using cryptocurrency for the first time
• Has a new online friend or partner who keeps having emergencies
• Mentions urgent calls from their “bank,” the IRS, police, or tech support
• Has unusual account activity or withdrawals they can’t explain
• Seems anxious, rushed, or unwilling to wait before acting
One sign alone doesn’t mean it’s a scam. But a pattern is worth a conversation.
What to Say Instead of “You’re Being Scammed”
People get defensive when they feel judged. These openers keep the door open:
• “Would you mind if we look at this together?”
• “Can we check this another way before you send anything?”
• “I’ve been reading about scams like this. Can I show you something?”
• “I’m not saying you did anything wrong. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
Helpful Questions to Ask
• “Have you ever met this person in real life or on video?”
• “Why do they need the money today?”
• “Can we call the company using the number on their official website?”
• “What happens if you wait a day?”
• “Did they ask you to keep this a secret?”Scammers rely on urgency and secrecy. Simple questions like these slow things down, and
slowing down is often enough.
What Not to Do
• Don’t shame them or make jokes about the situation.
• Don’t threaten to cut them off or stop talking to them.
• Don’t take over their accounts without talking to them first, unless there’s a real safety or legal
reason.
Embarrassment can push people to hide what’s happening. The goal is to make sure they feel safe
coming to you, now and next time.
If Money Has Already Been Sent
Act quickly, but stay calm:
1. Contact their bank or the payment service used (gift card company, Zelle, wire service, etc.)
right away.
2. Change passwords on any accounts that may be affected, and turn on two-factor
authentication.
3. Save screenshots, messages, receipts, and phone numbers.
4. Report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
Be careful of anyone who offers to “recover” lost money for a fee. That’s often a second
scam.
“See our full checklist →” “Already Sent Money or Information?”
Be the Second Set of Eyes
You don’t need to be a tech expert to help. You just need to be the person who says, “Let’s pause
and check.”
Not sure what you’re looking at? Join the Does This Feel Off? Facebook community and get
another perspective before anyone acts.
Please remove names, account numbers, and other personal details before posting screenshots.